i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
