My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We have so much sex to catch up on
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
