Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the condom got lost in my hair
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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