I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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