dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
