We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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