Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
babies were throwing up all over the place
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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