he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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