I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
