he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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