I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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