ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
im calling her cock vulture from now on
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
