You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
