There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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