Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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