So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
