I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
