I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
