Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
