ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
