as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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