My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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