I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize