I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
