Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
