So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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