That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
