so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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