i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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