I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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