I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize