I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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