Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize