dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
