I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
