They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
