doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
you're hired as official boob wrangler
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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