remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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