My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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