just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize