i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Piatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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