I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize