Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
