Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
