Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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