i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
