thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
How's work?
Spinning.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize