nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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