fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
