Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
