hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
