And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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