thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
