do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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