I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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