i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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