I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
