I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
