I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
