dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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