How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize