Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i would punch a child for taco bell
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
