i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
