you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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