the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
