I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
