He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
