i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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