Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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